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Avery: A Story of Learned Desire
This is a longer version of a post I wrote about seven months ago, so parts might sound familiar. At the time it was too emotionally sensitive to post in full, but I’ve developed some space from it...
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Seizing the Childless Days: A Reader Response Post
Dear readers, I have a request of you. I have decided â rather late in the game, I admit â to try to make the most of my time without kids. I have been focusing so much energy in the last...
View ArticleDear Baby Who Doesnât Exist
I donât know what you call an emotion that you feel towards a human being who does not exist anywhere but the imagination. I donât know if you can call that love . . . Iâm not sure you can feel...
View ArticleDear baby who is like a couple dozen cells big
So it seems you are a bit of a trickster. A week ago, I was certain my body was giving me the signs that another month had gone by without your arrival. I spent several hours shedding tears over your...
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Husbands are Great, But . . .
âMaybe youâre having a kid with superpowers.â Thatâs what my husband said to me as he walked casually around the hospital room. I was lying on my side, fetal-position, on the tiny, stiff white...
View ArticleInfertility versus Miscarriage: A Personal Examination
I wrote this two months ago when I believed Iâd had a miscarriage. I didnât post it because, well, it turned out I hadnât. And now it seems kind of unfair for me to reflect on the experience of...
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Slightly Curmudgeonly Reflections on Mother’s Day
Anyone who knows me or who reads this blog regularly will probably not be surprised by what I’m about to say: I’m not a fan of Mother’s Day. I plan to discourage my kids from getting me Mother’s...
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Why Have Children?
(I just found this in my notebook. I wrote it a week or two before Lydia was born, and then it got lost in the hulaballoo of having a newborn in the house. Enjoy!) First off, Iâm not trying to...
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The Gift of Waiting
(I wrote this before Christmas, so if any friends of mine are confused by the timeline, that’s the reason). In the last two weeks Iâve learned that two close friends are pregnant. Both have been...
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How Infertility Did (or Did Not) Influence “Our Marriageâ
A number of people have asked me to explore this topic. (And by âa numberâ I mean âthree.â Just keepinâ it real). In each of these requests, there seemed to be an underlying assumption that...
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